Family Vacation, Google updates… and online marketing 8.16.18

‘It’s Jayson Werth!’: Bearded retiree makes surprise cameo in local men’s league
I think you’re all f*cked in the head. We’re ten hours from the f*cking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I’ll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It’s a quest. It’s a quest for fun. You’re gonna have fun, and I’m gonna have fun. We’re all gonna have so much f*cking fun we’re gonna need plastic surgery to remove our g*ddamn smiles!

‘Sons of Anarchy’ Was a Criminally Underrated TV Show
Ellen: Clark, let’s just skip the house of mud. I think Dodge City was enough for one day. Besides, Catherine and Eddie are expecting us.
Clark: It’s living history Ellen. But if you’d rather see your cousins it’s okay by me. Personally I’d rather see a pile of mud than Eddie.

Google’s Aug. 1 core algorithm update: Who did it impact, and how much?
Why don’t you give me half the money you were going to bet, we’ll go out back, I’ll kick you in the nuts and we’ll call it a day?

You’re probably trying to swipe way out of your league on dating apps
Cousin Vicki: I’m going steady, and I French kiss.
Audrey: So, everybody does that.
Cousin Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I’m the best at it.

How Bing is enhancing search and apparently growing as a result
Ellen: I honestly don’t think we’re going to find the Grand Canyon on this road.
Clark: Jesus Christ, it’s only the biggest goddamn hole in the world!!!
Aunt Edna: Clark, watch your language!
Clark: Make that the second biggest.

Wordpress Update: Gutenberg
Ellen: The next time you have one of your outbursts, I’d really appreciate it if you think about the consideration of our kids.
Clark: What are you talking about?
Ellen: You don’t know? After everything that happened, you still don’t get it?
Clark: I’m just trying to treat my family to a little fun.
Ellen: Oh spare me, Clark, I know your brand of family fun. Tomorrow you’ll probably kill the desk clerk, hold up a McDonalds, and drive us 1000 miles out of the way to see the world’s largest pile of mud!

The marketing automation knowledge you need to succeed—all in one place.
Sorry folks, the park’s closed. The moose out front should’ve told you. – Lasky